Coping By Posting
From the Palo Alto Weekly, May 7, 2007:
Mary Ager
Mary Hinderlie Ager, 66, a resident of Palo Alto, died of cancer in her home April 23.
She was born in Tyler, Minn. She grew up in Waseca, Minn., Midway, Wash., and West Seattle, Wash. In 1963 she graduated cum laude from St. Olaf College in Northfield, Minn. She earned a master’s degree in teaching at Brown University in 1964 and was awarded a doctorate in English in 1973 from the University of Pittsburgh. She married Tryg Ager, of Eau Claire, Wisc., in 1964. They lived in Pittsburgh, Penn., until 1967, then in Binghamton, N.Y., until they moved to Palo Alto in 1978.
She is remembered by friends from high school in Washington, where she produced musicals and plays, and by classmates from college, where she sang with the St. Olaf College Choir for four years. This provided a foundation for a lifelong commitment to excellence in choral music, including several years with the Binghamton Symphony Chorus in New York, and more than 20 years with the Peninsula Women’s Chorus in Palo Alto. In recent years she, with about a dozen friends, formed the JewelTones ensemble to perform barbershop and popular music for numerous audiences in the Palo Alto area.
She believed that her musical groups were best thought of as communities of friends, and that bonds of friendship and a sense of community could raise the delight, joy and spiritual quality of music for both performers and audiences. She articulated this belief in her co-editorship with Frank Farris of a volume, “Take up the Song,” that commemorated Patricia Farris Hennings, who conducted the Peninsula Women’s Chorus for many years.
In Palo Alto she was active in Parents Nursery School for many years.
Professionally she was a technical editor for Computer Curriculum Corporation and Aspect Communications, where colleagues fondly remember her good humor, editing skills and ability to form friendships that were conducive to excellence into the workplace. Her writing and editing extended beyond work to development and publication of personal memoirs of several Holocaust survivors and veterans of World War II. She participated in the production of books, films, presentations and performances related to the “Song of Survival” project — the story of how women imprisoned during World War II in Sumatra survived physically and spiritually.
She is survived by her husband of 44 years, Tryg Ager of Palo Alto; son, Andrew and his wife Laura; daughter, Emily; brothers, John and Mark; sisters, Lois and Anne; one grandchild; and numerous extended family members and friends.
A family service and visitation has been held.
Memorial donations may be made to the Barbara and Richard Tobias Fund at the University of Pittsburgh, the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, Parents Nursery School in Palo Alto or the Peninsula Women’s Chorus.
Does this bring it home for me more? I hope so. Explains the lack of posting, though … I have not felt like exposing my emotions on this one yet. I Hope that putting this out there helps me cope a bit better.
June 11th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
My heart goes out to you, your family, your father, and your sister. Your mother was an extraordinary woman who deeply loved you and your sister. Thank you for posting the lovely photo of her with your son, which has been a comfort to many of us. Don’t let anyone rush you as long as you feel it’s still time to be pondering these things in your heart, not yet on paper or in the screen’s dancing electrons.
Best, your once-removed cousin, Joan
July 22nd, 2008 at 11:21 pm
My condolences on your mother’s loss; there are no words for losing one’s mother, really. Came across her obit at Huldrestua this past week and thought she sounded like an extraordinary person. Only met her–and you–briefly almost two decades ago.
Regards,
Your second cousin,
Beth